Okay, I'm Old.

We live in a time where graffiti artists can have Etsy shops. The rest of this post should go something like this, 

"In my day..."

"Back when I was your age..."

"Something, something, up hill both ways..."

"Something, something, youngster..."

I'm old. I get it. I fell down and broke my ankle instead of popping back up like a string bean wearing a halter top. I get it.

But I didn't realize I was so old that graffiti artists could have Etsy shops. That's new. It's sending me into a mid-life crisis. And not just because Netflix created a category for me called "Mid-Life Crisis Movies." It's more than that. 

I have to say - I have a huge crush on starheadboy's work. He has a unicorn combined with a burrito character. That should be all I have to say to win you over. 

Here are some pics of my favorite pieces: 

Um yeah. raccoon operated robot? Yeah!

These little guys is cutes, cutes, cutes.

This is the one I would like someone to buy for me please. I need some stillness.

Something I desperately want to be able to do.

I just like this guy's little stance. Go get 'em guy!

And a burrito unicorn in found in the wild. Sweet.

 In short: I Like. I like.

The Best EVER: Bigfoot in Pasties and Boy Shorts

While shopping on Etsy for a birthday gift for my dad, I somehow stumbled upon the artwork on ChipmunkCheeks (art and illustration by Katie Vernon). I think I love her.

I did however, choose something else for my father. He will not be getting BigFoot in pasties or boy shorts.

Crafty Bastards - The Vendor Edition #2

Let's go over a few of the peoples I had time to meet during Crafty Wonderland.

Artist, Robert Ullman from Atombombbikini.net was there. Finally, something at a craft show I can buy for my husband thet he'll really actually totally like. In fact, whenever I ask The Mister if there is anything he wants -- he says, "Bring me back something with boobs on it and I'll be happy." Finally, I was able to make his boob dreams come true.

I also met Diane Koss from Cutesy but Not Cutesy.

I was walking by her booth and did a double-take because she had a bunch of plush monsters with horns that looks sort of similar to this artier monster with horns that I recently purchased at Schmancy (the worlds best vinyl toy and plush store right between my job and my house).

Mine has the Boston skyline on its tummy and has a tiny red bird on its horns.

I fell in love with it. Anyway, when I saw the similar monsters at the show, I was like, "hhhheeeeeeyyyyyyyy, are you....?" And she was.

It was great to meet her and I was pleased that I could recognize her other work based only on her style. 








 

I was doing my 50 mile an hour walk through everything (Well, I would have been if it had been possible to go that fast. Really it was more of a shoulder to shoulder jello wiggle-on with the rest of the crowd) and saw the girls can tell booth out of the corner of my eye. 

Sara Selepouchin's diagrams on tea towels and notebooks make my heart flutter. And the fact that they are hand screenprinted makes them even better. Do you need to know the anatomy of a banjo while you're doing dishes? I submit: yes, yes you do.

I even got to meet some Etsy folks while I was there - which is always like meeting someone famous... or - just someone who is way cooler than you.

Morgan and Julie were nice to me even when I made repeated trips to their booth to demand more raffle tickets for my customers.

Thanks ladies!

My last purchase was a pair of earrings from The Broken Plate Pendant Co.  I love posts and can never find them because everyone else seems to love dangles.

Juliet even helped me pick out the best ones when I couldn't decide between two pairs.




 

It's such a cool concept too. She breaks plates - and turns them into wearable art - earrings and pendants. It's a great way to honor those vintage dishes you've been collecting for no reason whatsoever.

They're gonna break someday, right?

When they do, scoop up the pieces and give Juliet a call.


 

And that ends our travels through the wonderland that is Crafty Bastards. Again, I highly recommend that you go.

For reals. You'll love it.

Out of Line

I've been staring at this grey dress by Out Of Line for about a million years. Yesterday, some money I wasn't expecting landed in my lap.

So I finally bought it.

Here's a closeup of the stitching at the neckline: 

I can't wait to get it in the mail! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Laura George Wins

Laura George Wins. She wins. 

She made a poster that has step-by-step instructions on how to eat a banana. I hung it on the back of my computer so now whenever co-workers walk by, they are treated to a weird print that instructs them on all future interactions with bananas. Sweet. 

I found it at Schmancy (the very best art toy store in Seattle) and got a print for my husband at the same time. 
It's a monster guy that's saying, "Take your pants off." How can you not buy that? 


I did a little research and found Laura's Etsy site, LauraGeorge and her blog, Minutiae that have tons more really hilarious and cute things.


This one makes me smile:

And I'm drooling over this one: 

Like drooling to the point of tears. And quite honestly, this may very well be the first time that anyone has ever drooled to the point of tears. The very first.

Hot damn.

Art that Speaks to Me - About COFFEE!

Sometimes you see a painting that takes your breath away. That's what happened when I saw this painting in my JanetPlanetArt's Etsy shop.

I met Janet awhile back after a friend recommended her Encaustic Painting class. I didn't need to be told twice so I signed up right away and then spent a lovely afternoon painting things with beeswax.

It was awesome. Although I have to be careful where I hang my creations because Mr. Gale swears that they smell like sex. Don't ask me. I just married him.

So -- back to the painting. I love coffee. So much. Sometimes I lie awake at night -- excited for it to be the next morning so that I can have more coffee. Mmmmmmmm....

And now I have coffee that says, "I believe in you." I brought it to work and my co-workers insist that the coffees are saying that to each other -- not to me. I told them to eff off and that I could interpret it any way I want. Jerk-butts.

Best Earrings Ever

Bought these earrings on Etsy from roundrabbit and they are - quite honestly - the best earrings I have ever owned.

I have worn them every day and people always comment on them.

Plus, I just think they are so freakin' pretty.

And they're ceramic.

And awesome.

I think these will be my next victims.

Eight Weird Things

I Builted a Website on the Internets

This is it. I did it. This website finally launched. It's been about a year since I started -- but it's done. It's done. It's finally done. What's EtsyRAIN? It's the street team for everyone who lives in Seattle and the surrounding areas and sells their handmade goods on Etsy. We've got over 700 members that now get to play with my creation. The site is built in Drupal (swoon) which is an open source, database driven, content management system. What's that mean? Basically that we can enter content in one place -- let's say an event -- and have it show up on a calendar, as a featured event on the front page and also in a sidebar block of upcoming events. And we only have to enter the content once. If you've ever updated a straight HTML site -- you know why this is awesome. Basically, if something changes, we only need to change it in one place -- not on every single $&*#&$#ing page. The site has a crafty calendar that we're adding all kinds of crafty related events to. It will soon be THE place to go to see what's happenin' crafy wise in this great city. Also, our Premium Members (they pay $20/year to get special discounts on shows and other benfits) get to create their own profiles on the site to highlight their work. It's cool. For reals. I heart Drupal.

Someone Won Something and then they did Something Nice. Vague enough for you?

A nice lady named Theresa won my contest where I asked people to look at a Shower Art and tell me what was wrong with it.

Theresa correctly guessed that the "It's Shark Week, Bitches" Shower Art was missing a shark.

Yes, I'll say it again, "I forgot to actually put the shark in a Shower Art about sharks." I'm THAT forgetful. And if you don't believe me, ask my husband who does things like - leave his Netflix on my bag and say, "Hey, can you mail these for me?" Then, when he comes home, he finds the Netflix sitting on the counter because I got distracted and set them down somewhere.

Also, sometimes I forget what we're talking about -- while we're talking about it.

In any case, Theresa got her prize and then wrote a blog about it. What a nice lady. She makes needle felted things for her Etsy shop -- something I've always wanted to try! My favorite is called Mr. Squints. Teehee. He's an angry bear!

Shower Art - Don't put it in your Facehole

It's Shower Art. Don't eat it.

Don't rub it on your body like soap.

Don't wear it like a belt buckle.

Just hang it in your shower and giggle once a day.

And...if you can tell me what's wrong with the Shark Week Shower Art -- you win a prize. But only if you're the first one to figure it out. Leave your guesses here as comments.

Rock on.

Have a super Tuesday.

Four Weird Things

My Girl Crush on Betsy

The cutest lady in the world just traded me "Lord Bratnose" for the Glitter Cats. Betsy cans things. She cooks. She's adorable. She sews the most amazing skirts. She has a super cute blog. She has a super cute Etsy shop. And another super cute Etsy shop. She embroiders things with scary twin ladies who can explode birds with their minds. See. Cute. Cute. Cute. If Doug and I ever considered Polygamy -- I think Betsy would be one of our top choices for second wife. What? So anyway, here's the crazy beaded eagle on black velvet that Betsy-face traded me for bARTer Sauce. Did I mention Betsy named him Lord Bratnose? I have no idea why. What's bARTer Sauce? It's an experiment in trading for art and odd objects. Whatever I get -- I trade for something else and everyone I trade with has to tell me a story. I document it all on my website: http://www.bartersauce.com. And now -- we have a Facebook Fan Page. "Who doesn't," you say? Well, yeah, that's a good point.

New Coats

Okay, Let's all think about which coat I should buy. Starting. NOW.

Four Weird Things

I Make Money Mistakes

I went shopping. Then, I looked at my bank account online and said -- "wait, I still have so much money -- I'm gonna buy more stuff." (not something you would normally hear me say -- which explains my excitement) I didn't pause to consider that I SHOULDN'T actually have that much money in my account.So I will pay the price later. None of this will come as any surprise to Doug. He often laughs at me when I pay for things out of the wrong account or send checks to the wrong people or panic when someone cashes a check that they've held onto for months. Well, he used to laugh. Until we started a joint checking account. mmmmmmmwwhahahhaahahahaha.... For some reason he still hasn't given me the login information for that account. Humph! Who cares though...just look at one of the great things I got on Etsy: It's pink. Really pink. And it satisfies that weird urge I've had to buy things with chandeliers printed on them. I once had a plan to have all kinds of pillows with different kinds of chandeliers printed on them, a chandelier wall decal and chandeliers printed on our curtains. These plans all fell through when it came time to actually PAY for said items...but it was still a good plan. And to have your dreams realized for $22 -- well, now that's a good way to go. Hot damn that's pink! Check out the rest of the shop: PrettyRaccoon on Etsy. Everything there is pretty. I didn't see anything with Raccoons.

The Perfect Dress

I think that I should get this dress as a reward. I mean, I already know that I'm going to be good all year and follow all of my resolutions. Or ....at least I will once I get around to writing my resolutions. Rats! Foiled again!

The only thing I would change are the sleeves. I'd rather just have fitted three-quarter length sleeves than the larger lacey ones in the picture. And since it's on Etsy and handmade -- I just might be able to make my sleeve dreams come true.

What else is new: 1. I moved. On the day it started snowing. If you're planning to send me that dress as a special surprise, make sure you get my new address first. 2. The Art Walk has been rescheduled due to the holiday. It will now be on Thursday, January 8th. We'll be open from 5-10pm. Stop by: 216 Alaskan Way S (in Pioneer Square -- under the viaduct between Main and Washington) 3. It was my aniversary yesterday. It's been three years in linear time and four if you count the year we traveled back in time to get married. Wow! 4. I'm well on my way to finishing a blanket that I've been working on for at least 7 years. I keep crocheting the pieces and they never end up the same size so I just have to keep going and going. Well -- they are so big at this point that I decided to make it into THREE blankets instead. That's been on my list of things to do for quite some time and it will be nice to cross it off completely. I've got two of the three blankets FINISHED! 5. I've gotten a bunch of new bARTer Sauce trades in the last month and have a couple of new prospects as well. If you don't know, bARTer Sauce is an experiment in trading for art and odd objects that I've been running for about 3 years now. Whatever I get, I trade for something else and everyone I trade with has to tell me a story. I document it all on www.bartersauce.com. 6. I hired an accountant for Ugly Baby -- the company that brought you Shower Art and Franken-Scarves. Yay!

Sending you good thoughts and wishes for 2009. Now I have to let the Wii Fit yell at me for not saying hello for the past 2 weeks. Oh god.

Frankenscarf Winner Announced -- -

A couple of weeks back, I posted a new product idea -- Franken-scarves -- and to get some feedback about pricing, I asked folks to post a comment saying how much they thought I should charge for them. I picked a number out of a hat and that person won their very own Franken-scarf. The winning number was 13. And http://rekojrants.blogspot.com/ posted the 13th comment on my blog. Check out her Etsy Shop. Congratulations! Enjoy your Frankenscarf!

What the heck is a Franken-scarf? Well, you take some old t-shirts, or a jersey top sheet and you sew them into strips. Then you free-motion embroider the heck out of it and a Franken-scarf is born.

Here's another one:

I'm SICK -- but Look What I Got

I sneezed yesterday at work and all of a sudden, I'm completely sick. It was weird. For the past few days, I've felt like I was fighting something off and I think that sneeze was my last chance to rid my body of whatever was trying to get in. My body lost and now I'm in my jammies doped up on all kinds of decongestant and cough syrup. I apologize in advance if this blog is "wackier" than normal. And now...the bARTer Sauce update:

bARTer Sauce is an experiment in trading for art and odd objects. The basic idea: whatever I get, I trade for something else. And then I trade that thing for something else again. And on and on. The only rule: everyone who trades with me has to tell me a story. About anything. Just a story.

First Jen -- I call her Jen Snuffalupagus because she has a really long last name and I can't pronounce it. She traded me these two pieces for a giant painting of a pigface.

Here's us making the trade at my studio: Then Tara traded me one of the Twisted Tree t-shirts that she designs and screen prints for a painting of a two headed boy. Here's us making the trade at the EtsyRAIN show in Kenmore.

And finally, the vintage, tattooed farting duck that I got from Nik for a Red Screamer. Here's the awesome farting duckie:

Heck yeah! If you want to trade for anything you saw here, visit bARTer Sauce, create an account and send me a trade offer. There's more available for trade than just what you see here. Check out the full list.

Franken-scarf -- Rahr!

So I'm making a new thing now. Something OTHER than Shower Art -- I know, crazy! A few months ago I became obsessed with making Franken-scarves. They are scarves made out of upcycled t-shirts and jersey top sheets. I do free-hand machine embroidery all over them and they are reversible.

(keep reading to find out how you can win your own Franken-scarf!) Here's the first one I ever made:

And ....a close up....

Franken-scarf #2

#2 Close up

So....my question is: What would you pay for a Franken-scarf?

They take about three hours to make but the supplies are relatively inexpensive. The t-shirts are free or almost free so far. I have to buy embroidery stabilizer ($1 per scarf), sewing machine needles ($1 per scarf) and thread ($7 per scarf).

Post a comment on this blog with the amount you think I should charge for each Franken-scarf and I'll do a random drawing in two weeks to see who wins their very own Franken-scarf.

I had this idea months ago and dragged out my old sewing machine that I haven't used in about ten years. It kept eating the bobbin thread and sewing in big, crazy annoying stitches so after I took it apart to "fix" it -- I ended up throwing it away.

Which necessitated a trip to Michaels to buy a new sewing machine. I found one that has pre-programmed embroidery patters in it and lets you do free-hand embroidery as well. And it just so happened that I could buy the floor model at a huge discount.

So...

I did.

It's been true love ever since.