The bARTer Sauce website is no longer Orange and Green

My wonderful husband, Doug built me a new website for bARTer Sauce for Christmas last year. Today he finally finished it (Eh-hem. Snicker). I designed the last website. It was orange and green. There is nothing more that we need to say about that. The new site is built in Drupal, a database driven, open source, content management system that is perhaps a close second in the "love of my life" competition. Doug's first. Always. Now I just need to post all the trades I'm behind on due to website launching excitement! Check back next week for a whole passel of new available trade items -- including a figure drawing book that originally didn't include any penises on the male forms. Someone went through the book and drew a penis on each male figure. Then -- a puritan went through and made underwear on many of the men with white out. It's quite possible the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Well. Maybe not.

Eight Weird Things

Shower Art - Don't put it in your Facehole

It's Shower Art. Don't eat it.

Don't rub it on your body like soap.

Don't wear it like a belt buckle.

Just hang it in your shower and giggle once a day.

And...if you can tell me what's wrong with the Shark Week Shower Art -- you win a prize. But only if you're the first one to figure it out. Leave your guesses here as comments.

Rock on.

Have a super Tuesday.

My Girl Crush on Betsy

The cutest lady in the world just traded me "Lord Bratnose" for the Glitter Cats. Betsy cans things. She cooks. She's adorable. She sews the most amazing skirts. She has a super cute blog. She has a super cute Etsy shop. And another super cute Etsy shop. She embroiders things with scary twin ladies who can explode birds with their minds. See. Cute. Cute. Cute. If Doug and I ever considered Polygamy -- I think Betsy would be one of our top choices for second wife. What? So anyway, here's the crazy beaded eagle on black velvet that Betsy-face traded me for bARTer Sauce. Did I mention Betsy named him Lord Bratnose? I have no idea why. What's bARTer Sauce? It's an experiment in trading for art and odd objects. Whatever I get -- I trade for something else and everyone I trade with has to tell me a story. I document it all on my website: http://www.bartersauce.com. And now -- we have a Facebook Fan Page. "Who doesn't," you say? Well, yeah, that's a good point.

bARTer Sauce: High Tech Ass

This awesome Cyber-donkey is up for trade in my bARTer Sauce project. If you've ever wanted a toy donkey that had a bunch of buzzers and lights attached to him, and then got broken -- this is for you.

Read more about the story behind Cyber-Donk.

bARTer Sauce is an experiment in trading for art and odd objects. Whatever I get, I trade for something else and everyone I trade with has to tell me a story. I document it all on my website: bARTerSauce.com

Ray Guns in My Future

bARTer Sauce just traded for a Blueray Gun. It's ceramic. And blue. And super awesome.

I had to give up my Gumball Machine-shaped Kitty Cat Feeder in exchange, but I still think it was worth it.

Are you wondering what the hell I'm talking about? Then you probably don't know what bARTer Sauce is. And that's too bad because I'm not going to tell you either. Google it. You know how.

bARTer Sauce EXPLODED

For some reason there has been a renewed interest in bARTer Sauce, my experiment in trading for art and odd objects. The idea is that whatever I get, I trade for something else. And everyone I trade with has to tell me a story. This past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of trades and trade offers. Ba-zang!

Here's what I got from Will recently (click on the links to read the stories that came with each item): 

A Russian book (Will got Wedding of the No Face Couple in Exchange)

A French Telephone (Will got Terror for Terror in exchange)

This Weird Orange Cross with stuff smooshed into it all over (Will got the Stuffed Dooky Kiss in trade). This cross also came with a somewhat heart-wrenching story about a man named Phil who advertises his "skills" on matchbooks. 

And finally, the pride of pack 314: A trophy shaped like a totem pole commemorating the 1979 Cake Bake. Woot! (Will received a slightly broken Hugs for Jesus statue in exchange)

I'm afraid I had to make an example of Will. You see, many times people I'm trading with send along "extras" with their trades. Things that are odd, yes, but that now I have to deal with. You see, part of the idea behind bARTer Sauce is that I trade for odd things -- BUT THEN I TRADE THEM AWAY -- to other people. For them to enjoy (translation= "deal with"). 

Will was no exception. In fact, the trophy and the book were not sanctioned trade items.  So here's what happened (and what will happen in the future to all Sauce traders who send me "extras"): I "punished" Will by sending him one bARTer Sauce item (of my choice) for each "extra" he sent me. At first Will did not understand this punishment and set about trying to tell me what to send. He did not understand at all. 

You see, this was an opportunity for The Sauce. An inventory overhaul opportunity. And I took it. Will received the Hugs for Jesus statue, which, while hilariously named, is not all the wonderful to look at -- now especially since he arrived a bit worse for the travel and was in several pieces. 

Enjoy Will! Enjoy!

Balderdash Winner & New Contest

Last week I ran a contest for the funniest definition for the word Zazzera. Kayla from The Eclectic Element  made me laugh very hard with her answer: 

Zazzera: Noun,

1. A popular new wave of dance moves where you thrust your butt into the air and sidestep like the north american crab.

Warning: Best not used under the influence.

Ex. I walked into the club and when the music came on, I made like a crab and did the Zazzera.

Congratulations Kayla! You'll be getting a cool surprise package from me in the mail.

Now for a new contest. This is from the last game I played with a group of friends. I'll give you all of our answers for inspiration. Then, you leave your own answer as a comment to this post. The funniest one gets a surprise package of indie craft goodness from me.

This one is a movie called Wide Open Faces. I googled for images with the phrase "Wide Open Faces" and got the one above. Enjoy.: 

1. A big, mouthed soda jerk takes on gangsters at a vacation resort.

2. An unintentional comedy, Wide Open Faces, consists mainly of people yelling, "Spaces or Faces?" "Places or Faces?" and "What?". It went straight to dvd. 

3. A circus movie about deformed performers who travel the world. 

4. A documentary about the world of competitive eating.

5. The horror of dental malpractice is exposed.

6. A quack surgeon attempts to make a face wide enough to be carried on the wind.

Now it's your turn. Leave your comment on this post with the synopsis for the movie, "Wide Open Faces" and the funniest one will hear from me next Friday.

Now, remember to check out Shower Art - waterproof art you can hang in your shower with a suction cup - and bARTer Sauce - and experiment in trading for art and odd objects. You'll probably be glad you did. And if you're not .... well ... um ... who cares.

Happy Friday.

Hang Art in Your Shower

with our help.... New Shower Arts:

I'm SICK -- but Look What I Got

I sneezed yesterday at work and all of a sudden, I'm completely sick. It was weird. For the past few days, I've felt like I was fighting something off and I think that sneeze was my last chance to rid my body of whatever was trying to get in. My body lost and now I'm in my jammies doped up on all kinds of decongestant and cough syrup. I apologize in advance if this blog is "wackier" than normal. And now...the bARTer Sauce update:

bARTer Sauce is an experiment in trading for art and odd objects. The basic idea: whatever I get, I trade for something else. And then I trade that thing for something else again. And on and on. The only rule: everyone who trades with me has to tell me a story. About anything. Just a story.

First Jen -- I call her Jen Snuffalupagus because she has a really long last name and I can't pronounce it. She traded me these two pieces for a giant painting of a pigface.

Here's us making the trade at my studio: Then Tara traded me one of the Twisted Tree t-shirts that she designs and screen prints for a painting of a two headed boy. Here's us making the trade at the EtsyRAIN show in Kenmore.

And finally, the vintage, tattooed farting duck that I got from Nik for a Red Screamer. Here's the awesome farting duckie:

Heck yeah! If you want to trade for anything you saw here, visit bARTer Sauce, create an account and send me a trade offer. There's more available for trade than just what you see here. Check out the full list.

Look What I Got - A Double Sauce Post

My two most recent bARTer Sauce trades are both terrifying and also very, very, very, super-duper cool. First, Nik from Scary-Art.com (who is a rather frequest Sauce trader) gave me this painting of a Two-Headed Boy and a Robotic Bug sculpture for an Evil Looking Doll Lamp and a Space Alien in a Ship. Two-Headed Boy makes me giggle. He has so many eyes. And the teeny, tiny fangs are terrifying. And the Robotic Bug...... He's silver ....and POINTY!

And then on Wednesday, Gary traded me these four "Punked Up Nun" sculptures. I put them in the window of my shop and people have been walking by all day and shreiking. Awesome.

A close-up of my favorite: Sister Mary Dreadlocks:

If you're asking yourself, "What the hell is she talking about?" then you probably don't know about bARTer Sauce, my experiment in trading for art and odd objects. You should check it out. It's sometimes funny.

Look What I Got

I call it "Super Bright Kisses" for reasons I think might be obvious. I recently did a bARTer Sauce trade with a nice lady named Laura from my EtsyRAIN group. She makes pottery and stuff and sells it in her Etsy shop: LAS Designs. You should buy one of her mugs. I have two and I drink coffee out of them all the time. I highly recommend coffee -- and Laura's mugs. Read Laura's story that came with the bARTer Sauce trade. Read about the trade. Here's some pictures of Laura's super-cutie-potato-face son who came to the trade too and seemed obsessed with Shower Art. He's a winner in my book:

Here's Laura and I doing the trade at the September First Thursday Art Walk in Pioneer Square. I always stick my tongue out for the first picture for some reason. And the second shot is where I go for moderately normal. If you would like to trade me for "Super Bright Kisses" or anything else that is currently available through bARTer Sauce, get in touch -- rosalie(at)bartersauce.com. What the hell is bARTer Sauce? It's an experiment in trading for art and odd objects. The only rules: Whatever I get, I trade for something else. And everyone who trades with me, has to tell me a story.

Still Life With Teeth - An Art Remake

Long, long ago, I traded Ron Reid, the manager of The Comedy Underground (which re-opens in it's new location on September 9th) a painting of Will Ferrell in exchange for a still life that he purchased from a possibly homeless-ish man. It was a super good trade on his end (he got a painting of Will Ferrell) an it was not such a super good trade on my end (I got this)

This is part of bARTer Sauce, my experiment in trading for art and odd objects.

This one happened to be both. And honestly (sorry Ron) I wasn't sure if anyone would ever trade me for it.

Then Nik came into my life. He runs scary-art.com and he wanted the still life because he said he was going to put faces on the stuff inside. Well, he did. And I wasn't sure what to expect, but I love the end result:

It's FANTASTIC!

I tried to pick my favorite little character guy but I'm at a loss. It's a dead heat tie between the mosquito eating the brain out of the jar on the top right - the weird jar baby on the top left -- or the weird guy with the top hat in the front. Who cares! They're all awesome! Visit www.bartersauce.com to read about more of my recent trades for art and odd objects. And....if you're not too tired from that visit, check out Shower Art - waterproof art you can hang in your shower with a suction cup. Or anywhere else. We're no dictaors.

Bald Guyz Head Wipes

Seriously. I went to the store and the store had these.

Yes, they did. I swear they did. That's why I bought them -- because I knew no one would believe me. Plus, they only had one box left. So either they only ordered one box, or this product sold out and they will need to reorder. And yes, I'll be checking back to see if they do reorder. Now, I don't want anyone to think that I'm mocking bald men. I'm not. I'm mocking the person who thought of this product and then decided to call it Bald Guyz Head Wipes.

Well, I guess I'm also making fun of the two models on the box who maybe thought ths was their big break and might have actually used their real names. If you can't quite read that part, it says, "Keith Pignetti, Firefighter" and "Shawn Wilson, Researcher." I guess this is supposed to show you that bald men from any background can use Bald Guyz Head Wipes. So, there are 16 wipes in the box. Post a funny comment here and I'll contact you so I can send you your very own Bald Guyz Head Wipe. For you. Yours. You don't have to share. And in closing, visit bARTer Sauce - my experiment in trading for art and odd ojects and/or Ugly Baby Shower Art - waterproof art you can hang in your shower with a suction cup. Or anywhere else. We're no dictators.

Enough Said...

Yes, this is a real thing that I made. It's Shower Art - waterproof art you can hang in your shower. Abe wants to see you naked. Real bad.

What You Should Do Next Friday

I've told you about my favorite toy store, Schmancy. And it does have toys, but it has so much more too. Art and plush dolls and just lots of generally odd and cool stuffs.

So this Friday, August 8th from 6-9pm, there's an art opening reception for Heidi Kenney.

If you don't know who Heidi Kenney is, check out her site: http://www.mypapercrane.com/. It's dazzling.

So, let's review:

Friday, August 8th between 6-9pm.

Schmancy Gallery

1932 Second Ave

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Shower Art -- Thought of the Day

Ponder this baby-makers:

And if it's too hard for you to see, let me zoom in a little:

Do you see the fear in her eyes?

Perhaps I'm feeling especially sensitive to babies because I'm about to get on a plane.

Or maybe I really just don't like them.

Either way, this Shower Art that Doug made sums it up nicely.

Balderdash is Back

I Heart Balderdash so much. So much in fact, that I save the answers from every game we play so that you can read the funny things my friends come up with. And you can play along! What do I do? First, read our funny answers...one is the real one. If you want, you can try and guess which one is real. But you don't get anything for that. And I'll probably never tell you whether or not you were right, so it probably won't be very fulfilling for you. Second, make up a funny answer of your own and post it here as a comment. I'll assign numbers to each comment and pull one out of a hat (or other container to be determined by me). If I pull out the number I assigned to your comment, you get this tater tot themed greeting card: Yes, it does have the word anus in it. Honestly, it might not be for everyone. Let's begin. The word: Piloerection (we pronounced it - Pile o' erection -- I bet you can see where we're gonna go with the definitions) Our Answers: 1. When a hang glider's wing turn upright for landing. 2. The process for installing pilings under a bridge. 3. The official term for when dough rises. 4. Hair standing on end caused by fright. 5. The name of a phenomenon where atoms spontaneously combine into complex molecules. 6. A large mound of stimulated male sex organs (you knew it would happen, right? I'm just surprised there was only one like this) Now it's your turn. And if you're lucky you just might win the only tater tot themed greeting card with the word "anus" in it. CONGRATULATIONS! And when you're done, check out some Shower Art (waterproof art you can hang in your shower with a suction cup) and bARTer Sauce (my trading experiement for art and odd objects. Trade me something!)

bARTer Sauce : Single Parent of a PaperBagSkeletonPuppet

Best bARTer Sauce trade ever!

bARTer Sauce : Single Parent of a PaperBagSkeletonPuppet

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Some Artists and Stuff

These three bARTer Sauce participants have art shows that I should have told you about a long, long time ago.

Staci is showing at Revolution Coffee until April 28th. Check out her website: http://www.stacirgraveley.com/. We all missed her opening reception, but that's the kind of thing that happens when you have to adhere to the limits of linear time. Staci knows we were all there in spirit. Mark sent me a postcard about his show at Penn Cove Pottery (26184 SR20 Coupevile, WA). The gallery is open Monday - Saturday from 10am-5:30pm and the show runs through May 19th. Check it out!

Stacy (a.k.a. Dangerine) emailed me about a show but I'm not sure if it's still going on. You tell me. After you go there to check. Cafe Shachor by Beth's Cafe at the corner of Linden & Winona & 74th. Her paintings are there. Hells Yeah! And for the rest of you. If you've traded with bARTer Sauce and have something cool coming up or if you've done something noteworthy, send me an email or post a comment here and I'll help you get the word out. And in closing, some Shower Art for you to enjoy.