1:42 PM

Balderdash Winner & New Contest

Last week I ran a contest for the funniest definition for the word Zazzera. Kayla from The Eclectic Element  made me laugh very hard with her answer: 
Zazzera: Noun,
1. A popular new wave of dance moves where you thrust your butt into the air and sidestep like the north american crab.
Warning: Best not used under the influence.
Ex. I walked into the club and when the music came on, I made like a crab and did the Zazzera.
Congratulations Kayla! You'll be getting a cool surprise package from me in the mail.
Now for a new contest. This is from the last game I played with a group of friends. I'll give you all of our answers for inspiration. Then, you leave your own answer as a comment to this post. The funniest one gets a surprise package of indie craft goodness from me.
This one is a movie called Wide Open Faces. I googled for images with the phrase "Wide Open Faces" and got the one above. Enjoy.: 
1. A big, mouthed soda jerk takes on gangsters at a vacation resort.
2. An unintentional comedy, Wide Open Faces, consists mainly of people yelling, "Spaces or Faces?" "Places or Faces?" and "What?". It went straight to dvd. 
3. A circus movie about deformed performers who travel the world. 
4. A documentary about the world of competitive eating.
5. The horror of dental malpractice is exposed.
6. A quack surgeon attempts to make a face wide enough to be carried on the wind.
Now it's your turn. Leave your comment on this post with the synopsis for the movie, "Wide Open Faces" and the funniest one will hear from me next Friday.
Now, remember to check out Shower Art - waterproof art you can hang in your shower with a suction cup - and bARTer Sauce - and experiment in trading for art and odd objects. You'll probably be glad you did. And if you're not .... well ... um ... who cares.
Happy Friday.


Eve said...

cult porn movie in which a blonde with no apparent gag reflex is outwitted by an exotic Suri woman with a lip plate.

koekoeksdozeke AT hotmail DOT com

BandaiBlossom said...

Title: Wide Open Faces

Tagline: "You butt-face! Figuratively. No, literally."

Synopsis: Ray Hadley, a vexatious young teen who enjoys flaunting the line "You butt-face!Figuratively - I wish!"; is finally heard by the Gods when he - and all the remotely significant beings in his sad, pathetic life - have their faces transformed into - yes, you guessed it - good ol' buttocks.
This alters his anecdote to "You butt-face! No, literally," which only succeeds in aggravating his deformed, foul-smelling, soon-to-be former comrades.
When the unaffected public discover the seemingly disease-inflicted population, they begin a sanitizing spree, soaping, flushing and antibacterial-gelling anyplace and everyplace available.
Seeing themselves as outcasts, the smelly buggers (:D) they band together to form the "Wide Open Faces" Society, excluding Ray. Blaming him for the imbalanced, crack-ed world they currently live in, they use his wide-open face to an advantage.
Although much tighter than others, the agents manage to plant a rocket in Hadley's @$$... sorry, face-hole - and guess what happens next?
They blow him to browney-stinky bits?
Sure do.
And they all lived happily ever after, without the help of those darn gods.
Thus, the Wide Open Faces Society lives on - although, perhaps with more support from the "outsiders"...

Despite me giving the whole film away, it's showing in all cinemas around the world... NEVER.

Also, despite its excessively adult content - it's suitable for all ages.

Sorry if that was a little ick. Couldn't help it. Lol. Hope it was (at least) enjoyable.

I'd love to win, though! :)

Thanks for the chance,

BandaiBlossom said...

BTW: it just wouldn't have worked without you knowing the ending.
Not much of a synopsis, but my wonderful friend the online dictionaries define a synopsis as a summary, so hopefully it's good enough and eligible for an entry?

Pretty please?


janil said...

I'd wish to participate but my English is not so good... :(

Your work is fantastic!!!!!!

The Stewart Stuff said...

Wide Open Faces was a documentary following the man that makes a living by entering food eating contests. His mouth is large enough to stick his foot in it. No personality, but one big mouth!

OK, obviously, I am no comedian!!! :0)


x said...

Wide Open Faces is a rags to riches tale. The casting director of an online reality show is challenged to get the least likely contestant ever to go on "Last Chef Stirring". The direct must chose a bum off of the streets and turn him into a gourmet pro fast! The challenge that decides it all: The Open Faced Turkey Sandwich Face Off! ....now if they can only get the guy to wash his hands after he visits to bathroom we'll be in business!


judybrittle said...

Nightmare on Elm Street Part 12:Wide Open Faces.
(enough said)

inge said...

i don't know the movie...but on the photo i'll say : don't jugde the book at his cover ...


BandaiBlossom said...

Wait... we're meant to use the photo??!!

Aw, damn.

Okay, just Ray Hadley is now officially a lecherous old truckie-dude who acts so cringe-worthily immature, it's a wonder how he managed to raise five decently-mannered children with his Russian, mail-ordered bride.

Better now?
HA! No longer disqualified. THAT'S quick thinkin' for ya. :)


Unknown said...

Awesome entries everyone. And just so there is no confusion, you don't need to use the photo in your answer. I just googled the phrase "Wide Open Faces" and that's what came up --
There is also no penalty for using the photo. So either way. You're all good.

BandaiBlossom said...



Ah well, let's make that "Russian, mail-ordered, Zazzera-loving bride". Just for the sake of it.

Not to mention that Mrs Hadley's quite... big-boned...

Multifarious By Design said...

If you can guess correctly what lives in this man's beard, you will win a free guide to The Art & Science of Beard Coif magazine.